


You have noticed

by 898700 (ghostwriter)



Category: High School Musical (Movies)
Genre: Mother-Son Relationship, POV Second Person, Surprises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-13
Updated: 2014-01-23
Packaged: 2018-01-08 15:35:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1134394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostwriter/pseuds/898700
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You have noticed there is somebody special in your son's mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this back in February 2008 but only posted it at LJ. The original post can be found [at jerico_fics](http://jerico-fics.livejournal.com/tag/fic%3A%20you%20have%20noticed). The POV is Mrs. Danforth's.

You have noticed there's somebody special in your son's mind - not because he's said something, explicitly or not … but precisely because he has not. He has always been this friendly, open boy who enjoys sharing every little detail of his day, no matter how embarrassing or innocuous it might be; but suddenly you discover he's withholding information. You can't explain how you know, you just do. And because worrying about their offspring is what mothers do, you decidedly yet carefully make sure to eavesdrop whenever he thinks you are not around.

Is because of this that you manage to half-listen his side of a couple calls, and that gives you more clues. There are little sparkles in what he says, no matter how mundane it is, as well as a different quality in his voice and a flirty layer in every word he delivers. You didn't need any proof yet he has given you enough, and it makes you feel both happy for him and uneasy as to what he's hiding. He's always been frank when it comes to his loves and crushes, and so you have a complete knowledge of whom he has liked and whom he has found attractive in the past. That he has not done it this time means problems to a level that makes you tremble inside.

Thus, when he drops a crumble for you to pick, no time is wasted before you to try to follow the vanishing path. Locked in your own room, you open your cell phone since he's still using the home line, chatting about this mysterious person he's hiding from you. You don't wait for long, one ring, two, before your son's best friend's father picks up. You tell him, I'm sorry to call, but is there a girl by the surname of Evans in your school? He immediately says yes, and gives you a name (Sharpay), but his voice is suspicious and you are glad to have a lie already prepared.

It is nothing, you assure him with a calm voice, just a little thing you heard at work about certain Mr. Evans and one of his daughters, a girl that's about Troy and Chad's age. He chuckles, interrupting to say that, from all he knows, Sharpay is her family's only girl, and thank the heavens for that. He then adds that she only has a brother, and that there are no other Evans kids in East High, and you take the opportunity to declare that then she obviously is not the girl you heard about. And because he surely is curious yet not willing to interrogate his son's best friend's mother, you tell him that the subject is touchy, and please could he not mention it to Chad and Troy?

His mind is probably a hive when he hangs up, but you know that he'll keep his promise. And, even if some of it slips and your son hears of it, you already have a story on the works to deliver. It is not that you lie frequently to Chad; but it is precisely the fact that you only share truths with him, and that he is aware of it, what will give you an advantage this time.


	2. Chapter 2

Sharpay Evans is, as you feared, not the kind of girlfriend you would like for your son. You've spent the whole night at home, and half of the morning at work, looking for everything you can find on her in the Internet. Sure, she's quite an attractive and talented girl, but she's … well … she's much like Troy for you to easily accept it. It is not that you dislike your son's best friend, but you've never felt entirely comfortable with Chad being nothing but his sidekick, his shadow, when he could shine so much by his own.

You know that they are as close as blood brothers, if not more, yet every time that the popular boy achieves something a little sting accompanies the pride you feel. He's been part of your lives for years, he in a way belongs to your family now, yet Chad is the one you'll without a doubt pick if a life-or-death situation were to arise. And because of this, you don't take lightly (even if you try) that your son is always the second best, even when there are times he's clearly superior to his friend, although nobody else seems to notice.

So finding out that this Sharpay girl is quite as popular as Troy makes you a bit grumpy. The fact that you have been up for almost 36 hours now is probably adding to your gloomy mood as well, but you know that the little bits of information you've been slowly collecting would have made you unhappy even in a shiny day. After all, there are differences between Sharpay and Troy, and these make the future look even worst. Your son doesn't need another incandescent star by his side, and this girl-of-a-diva has all the looks to be even more dazzling than the basketball team's captain. She is disgustingly rich - not only to Albuquerque standards, or in the New Mexico area, but even beyond. She is also a willing show-off, judging by her practiced smile in the many pictures cluttering the social and gossip columns, and by the articles accompanying them.

That she's white and blonde is only the cherry of the cake. You are not racist, noting more far from the truth; yet because of your younger brothers' dating experience, you know that it is never easy for a dark colored man to date such a whitely woman. And you use the world to refer not only to her exterior but also to her soul. The girl is probably spoiled rotten and close-minded as hell. That is, if her mind works at all. You remember that your son said how his last girlfriend's overwhelming brains made it difficult for the two of them to relate - yet you would have preferred for him to spend the rest of his days wondering about half of the words Taylor uses, instead of parading around with a very pretty yet equally empty minded clone of Paris Hilton.

But the worst thing is that you know Chad, and you know he is no dumb kid. So either this girl is not as bad as she seems to be, or your son is so blinded by her beauty that he doesn't cares. Whatever it is, you can't change the fact that your only male kid, your firstborn, is completely ga-ga over this girl. Even with the superpowers granted to you thanks to motherhood, you can't make him stop doing it. You can give orders to him, lock him, punish him; yet it will only create a riff, and you know you'll be sorely needed whenever Sharpay Evans decides that she's got bored, and dumps the sweet boy that is your son.


	3. Chapter 3

The group of friends your son brings home every Friday has changed, and it makes you happy to discover that it is due to the inclusion of a few girls, none of them a blonde bimbo. But you soon realize that Chad shows no interest in any of them, and you don't mean it in a romantic sense - sometimes he behaves around the girls the same way he used to when there were only the basketball or baseball or track teams' boys. Yet you never get to scold him for it, as some of the other kids do it for you: Troy, whenever his sweetheart's virginal ears and eyes seem to be in danger to be tainted; or Taylor, or that well-behaved new boy.

It takes you three weeks, but you manage to talk about Sharpay Evans with Chad's closer friends. Troy answers your questions so innocently that you know his father has kept his promise. It also becomes obvious that he has no love for the girl, although he tries to be a gentleman and delivers no dirty words. Taylor, on the other hand, has no qualms, and it is because of this that you first hear about the Talent Show fiasco. It irks you so much that your son has fallen for such a harpy, that you glare darkly at him the next time he enters the kitchen. Of course, he has no clue as to your reasons for it, and you are not going to explain, so he returns to the living room with a cookie tray and no answers, and keeps glancing worriedly in your direction the whole weekend.

Troy's girlfriend surprises you, although you should have known by now that a girl who acts so sweet and naive is not going to badmouth another girl, even if said girl actively tried to steal her boyfriend - so instead of learning what you want to, you got to listen about Sharpay's good points. Thankfully, even Gabriella can't make much of it, so you end hearing about how cute and nice Ryan Evans, Sharpay's brother, is. Yes, she actually says _cute_ , and you amused yet quietly wonder if this sweet and naive girl is cheating on her extremely popular boyfriend, or will soon be.

Zeke, who is the next in your interrogation's list, happens to actually outdo Mrs. Perfect: he is so utterly and desperately in love with Sharpay, that you glare even more openly at your son, and he spends another weekend flinching every time you two are in the same room. How can he ever think about a girl one of his good friends is so insane about? Why can't he leave the extravagant lass to the boy who is so obviously blind about the girl's faults that it doesn't matter how much extra damage she can do?

By then you are so angry that you even end talking to that quiet girl called Kelsi. She is almost a stranger in your house, and there's not much more than a passing acquaintance between your son and her, but the same can be said to rest of the group … with the exception of Jason, whom you've known for years. But the poor boy is not so bright, and this Kelsi girl seems clever despite actually being Jason's girlfriend, so you decide that if there's something for you to know from this source, it has to be through the girl.

It seems like a good plan, except for the fact that the darling is actually terrified of Sharpay, and it takes you almost five minutes to calm her down. In the end, you discover that talking about the sweet and talented Evans brother is what makes the trick. And yes, she actually says _sweet_ and _talented_ , while you speculate about the nature of this boy's relationship with both Kelsi and Gabriella. You get no dirt against Sharpay from this conversation, other than the fact that the aforementioned Ryan is in fact not simply the blonde girl's brother but her twin, almost her shadow - and therefore, a much more reliable source.

So when you 'happen' to hear how Sharpay is offering her place for the after-party, despite hers being a secondary role, you immediately ask, shouldn't the performance's stars be the hosts? And you secretly gloat at the Evans girl losing to Gabriella again, too. You know about Coach Bolton and Mrs. Darbus hate-hate liaison, and nobody has to tell you that a party at the Montez's does not sound like fun. So you know that your offer will be welcomed, and yes, even Chad seems happy at the prospect of a party taking place at his house.

He still glances uneasily at you now and then, though.


	4. Chapter 4

You go to the play not because it is Phantom of the Opera, although it helps - but your main concern is to take a look at Sharpay Evans in her natural environment. You are surprised to discover that the girl got talent; apparently, all those protagonists over the years were not paid with daddy's money. You even reluctantly admit that Sharpay overshadows Gabriella when they are on stage at the same time, even more when they are not, and it makes you question Mrs. Darbus' decision a little, no matter how much you like Troy's girlfriend better. But then, you think, Christine is more of a Gabriella character - although, seeing Sharpay, you wouldn't deny the possibility of the blond girl pulling the sweet part well enough.

You don't know what to think at Troy being cast as Raoul. Sure, his teenage groupies would probably throw a fit at having him portrayed as disfigured, yet anybody with half of a brain has to be aware that the male lead belongs to the character the play gets named after. You are so unprepared to what comes next, that you barely move or even _think_ until the production is over and the actors are collecting the public's applause. And it is then when a thought hits you with the force of lightning.

You know this kid.

He has been in your house.

And he is oh so good.

You would have felt more than a little ridiculous, barely restraining from jumping in your seat, clapping and cheering like crazy, were not for the fact that there are rows and rows of kids doing the same. Most of the adults are doing it too, although you can see some of them have different reasons than yours. And yes, you get confirmation when it is Troy Bolton's turn to bow, and it suddenly seems as if you were trapped in a bag with a hundred cats, so loud the girls' shrieks are. Then Sharpay Evans follows, and the ruckus is almost as deafening, although there are catcalls and about half of the voices are definitely male. Gabriella Montez gets a little less applause than the other two, but there doesn't seem to be as much insanity behind it, so it is okay.

Ryan Evans comes last, and you are pleased to see every adult in the room standing alongside their kids. But, despite his smile making patent he enjoys the well-earned attention, the Evans kid doesn't stay in the front as long as the other three actors did. Instead, he takes his sister's hand and kisses it gentlemanly before the girl rushes to embrace him. She looks so pretty and happy for her brother, that for the first time you feel guilty about judging a girl you've never met, and who has never done anything to you.

Then Ryan, with Sharpay's left hand still clasped to his right, takes Gabriella's own with a smile before leading the two girls to the front one more time. He stays a couple steps behind them, alongside Troy, and both of them clap and laugh while the public showers both actresses with flowers and more applause. Your heart is in your throat when the curtains fall, your eyes more than a little misty and your hands red and sore for all the effort you've made them do.

It is in that exact moment, with the whole audience trying to leave the auditorium first, that Chad rushes by your side from where he had been sitting with his friends, and says he's going to meet Troy at the backstage, and _why don't you go home and I'll hitch a ride with one of the guys_? Your soul constricts at it, because you are aware that he has no hurry to find his best friend, and that there's another person instead whom he wants to see. But you are not mad anymore at this person being Sharpay Evans. Instead, you are sad because your own son is keeping an important part of his life a secret from you.

And you vow to make it change.


	5. Chapter 5

Of course, he's not at home when you arrive with way more shopping bags you're willing to carry on your own, no matter how many trips it'll take. That Kelsi girl gave her word on nobody arriving before the party's official starting time, which has been agreed to be an hour after the play is over, but you fear she'll be wrong on it, especially as minutes seem to hurry as if they were seconds instead. So you are kind of prepared, yet still annoyed, when you hear a car park in the curb while you are gloomily glaring at your trunk.

Yet despite how dark your mood is, it suddenly changes when somebody politely says hello before asking if he could take the bags you are carrying. You smile and thank him, this well-behaved new boy you have never really paid attention to before, and Ryan Evans grins back with a bashful smile that makes you like him more. He helps you unload the car and then helps you fix things because, in his own words, _I've been declared this party's official overseer_. He doesn't say Sharpay sent him to check everything was perfect - he doesn't need to. Yet you are thankful anyway, because there's stuff missing and you have done a couple things wrong. But he doesn't say it directly, and instead helps you fix the mess and makes a couple calls before announcing all is covered.

It is then when the first guests show up, with Chad, Troy and Gabriella parking immediately after them, and you mumble that _of course_ your son wouldn't arrive until everything has been take care of. By your side Ryan chuckles, and says _yeah, that's Chad_ , before Troy's girlfriend tries to kill him by constriction while chiding him for disappearing. Troy rolls his eyes at it, and yes, he indeed looks a little jealous. But he acts like a gentleman and waits patiently until he's allowed to give the other boy a manly hug, declaring in an honest voice how great an actor Ryan is.

His words shouldn't surprise you but they do. Not because you didn't expect them to be so freely given, but because you thought they would have been delivered right after the play. However, it doesn't takes a genius to realize that, for Ryan to arrive at your home at the time he did, already showered (you did notice earlier that his hair was still wet) and primly dressed, he should have had to leave the school almost as soon as the curtains closed. You don't get a chance to ask, though, as his classmates surround him like ants do with spilled honey. And as earlier, he looks thrilled yet a little uncomfortable at their attention.

It is Sharpay Evans who saves him. It is weird, you think, how you would have probably thought differently before, how you'd have called her petty and selfish even if only in your mind. But despite her words sounding quite rude ( _yeah yeah, we all know he was amazing, now shoo!_ ), you now are aware of her brother's adoring gaze - both because she just spared him a slow by-asphyxiation death, and for her veiled praise. You are even able to notice her soft grin before she turns around to occupy her place as hearth of the party.

You talk to Ryan a few times during the evening, as he is frequently helping things go smoothly. You want to continuously tell him how much of a good actor you think he is (you do it once, the first time you two are back in the kitchen), yet you still are a mother and talking about Sharpay is what you need to do. You later discover that not going overboard with the worshiping was the right thing to do, as he lives for the stage while she lives for the praise - and these are, he says, his sister's actual words. He has always been happy to let her take most of the spotlight, as long as he's allowed to do what he loves.

You hear a lot about Sharpay from those short exchanges, but you take all with a grain of salt because Ryan's love for her sister is nothing but obvious. You think at first that he's at almost the same level of adoration where Zeke stands; but a couple deadpan comments from the young actor make you realize that, while Zeke idealizes a girl that doesn't exist, Ryan is well aware of his sister's faults. Still, he seems to be almost painfully indulgent and accepting of them, so you decide that, in the end, he is up to par with the other boy's blindness.


	6. Chapter 6

The party is dying, with most of the kids already gone, when Chad lets his self-control slip and gives you confirmation of his crush. You have been keeping a close yet discrete eye on him, noticing that, after the first hour, he stopped trying to talk to anybody outside of those you are familiar with: Troy, Jason, their girlfriends, Zeke and Taylor. You already knew these theater kids were not a regular part of your son's life, so it was inevitably that the Evans twins, co-presidents of the Drama Club, end being the party's heart and soul.

Now that the buzz has calmed down the pair is quietly chatting in a corner, and Chad's gaze keeps returning to them. All of your son's friends are busy chatting too, so they do not notice how his attention wanders now and then; neither do they notice the reason of it. You look at the twins as well, wondering if you should send everybody home, because the blond boy looks ready to collapse and sleep for twenty-four hours straight.

You smile, remembering how hyper he acted during the evening and how he seemed to be everywhere, making you questioningly eye at the drinks a couple times. But as a few sips confirmed no alcohol was involved, your guess is that either Ryan suffers from a mild yet amusing form of ADD, or that he is always this naturally high after being on stage. You actually are putting your money in the last one, as he looks positively worn-down now that the party is almost over. He's almost sprawled in the couch, his eyes closed and a lazy smile dancing on his face while he quietly talks to his sister. Sharpay, on the other hand, looks as perfect as she did at the beginning. But then, she was not the one jumping up and down for hours.

It is then when Sharpay's attention abandons her brother, and for a second you think she has seen you, yet it is in your son where her gaze lands. He looks definitively terrified when their eyes lock. You are most interested in her reaction, thought. Her wry grin makes your heart falter. No matter what Ryan says, you still do not trust her, and seeing her about to make fun of your son definitely does not help. But before you have the chance to jump and break her neck, Ryan moves. His eyes are now open, and his words are too low for you to hear, but somehow you know what he's saying. _What you are looking at,_ he asks to his sister - but before he ever has the chance to see for himself, she stops him by placing a hand on each cheek, making him focus on her instead.

Ryan is surprised, you can say, but then he rolls his eyes at something she says. He pouts, she pouts back, and they definitely do not look like two high school seniors anymore. But he finally surrenders and gets up with a groan, his movements an odd mix of grace and stiffness that announces he has had enough for the night. Yet still there he is, going to the refreshments' table, obviously with the intention to get whatever Sharpay ordered him to. The girl's eyes follow him for a moment before returning to where Chad was sitting. But you know she'll not find him here, as your son fled to the second floor as if his clothes were in fire, just a moment ago.

She rolls her eyes and scans the room, then looks again at her brother. You can see she has reached a decision and yes, she gets up and announces with a voice that makes clear nobody should dare contradict her, _we are leaving_. And by _we_ she means _everybody in this party_. You allow her get it her way this time because it is obvious Chad will not be returning. So before you figure out what's going on, the remaining kids are straightening your living room, something that never happens when the sport teams are around. Either this theater troupe is naturally more organized, or Sharpay has them well trained.

You suspect the second one, if only because Ryan is smiling gratefully at her. It makes you realize the Evans will not leave until the place looks somewhat presentable. It is slightly unnerving that these rotten rich kids care about how your middle-class house looks like, but you think that probably their lives are all about appearances, so it makes sense in a trippy way. So you say nothing, because there's nothing to say, and instead smile while the kids minus Sharpay clean, and smile when they say goodbye. Ryan is the only one who gets an honest smile from you, even if it is a sad one. You feel sorry for such a nice boy having to live with the sibling god gave him.


	7. Chapter 7

Chad's freaking out episode barely survives the weekend, and he's back in the pursuit by Monday. You know you should be proud at him not giving up; but, honestly? You are not. He actually came home from school visibly ecstatic at his last (and very secret, he obviously thinks) strategy, which, you are able to deduce, involves him being paired with his love's interest in a major English project. It actually doesn't work like that, you muse, as his name is now alongside the wrong twin. But he doesn't seem deterred from it, and already has formed what you grudgingly label a clever contingency plan.

Your son is confidently _beaming_ while informing he's going to spend most of the rest of the week's evenings at the Evans' estate. It doesn't sit well with you, especially as now you know he'll be blatantly using Ryan to get to his sister. It's no wonder, then, that you answer to his words with a sour face and the accusation of him being ashamed of his home, so eager he is to leave it for a mansion. You are aware that he's never been interested in richness that much, but somehow it is easier to rant about this than saying what you really want.

He looks so taken aback that your resolution falters, but he leaves the table before you can apologize. He closes his bedroom's door with a soft click, instead of the loud slamming you were waiting for, and it scares you even more. You are not hungry now, but you stay in the same place while your daughter looks curiously at you. She says nothing, thankfully, although the silence is so deafening that you try to engage Charlotte in conversation twice, without success. Sound returns with your son, although he only opens his mouth to inform Ryan has no problem with changing the place, and would you mind if he came here to work in the project? You say _no, no problem at all_ , and Chad nods and sits again. He smiles softly at you, but his grin is clearly forced, and he keeps throwing those by now familiar worried glances in your direction.

Nobody says a word for the rest of the dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has come to my attention that I might be misleading my readers. Because of this fic's plot, I'd prefer to keep the background pairing secret, as there is a surprise reveal at the end (that is not completely a surprise, as it builds up as the story progresses). Nonetheless, I realize there are readers that came here expecting het, and that's not what I'm going to deliver. No relationship will be ultimately shown in the remaining 3 chapters, but starting on the next part, which I'm going to post today as well, the possibility of m/m will start showing up.


	8. Chapter 8

It occurs to you that, as you did before, Chad would want to use the occasion to milk any Sharpay-related information out of Ryan, and you can't stop it from happening because your stupid boss decided you had to stay late at work every Wednesday. Thus, you do the next best thing, and inform your daughter she will not be going to her ballet lessons today. She's still a little sick, you explain to Chad; and really, she is. He agrees that it is his duty as an older brother to look after her while you are not at home, and that it would not be a good idea if she were to blame for starting a minor flu epidemic at the dance studio.

You know your plan worked just right as soon as you return home. Your daughter's laughter can be heard, clear and crystalline, ricocheting from the dining room. And yes, you find she has Ryan's undivided attention, while all Chad can do is to look at them with an amused yet slightly weary smile - but he cheers up as soon as your presence is noticed, and orders Charlotte to _please go with mom and leave us work_. Ryan chuckles when your daughter cheekily declares she is not leaving, and could he please, please, please tell her another story?

You are actually surprised when Chad shrugs and follows you to the kitchen. He had never done it before, to willingly help you with dinner when his friends are visiting, and his silence weights heavily between the two of you. But it doesn't last long, as Ryan's storytelling and Charlotte's giggles make great background noise, and you find your chuckles quietly echoing Chad's own. You even share a quick smile with him, after he shakes his head and mumbles _silly boy_ at some particularly amusing part of his friend's tale.

Is this thought, the tone used on those two words, what makes you pause and realize that Ryan truly is your son's friend. Not a stepping stone, not part of a plot - not anymore, at least. Maybe he was Chad's link to Sharpay in the beginning, but your boy's smile allows you to see there is honest friendship now. And, even if you have not great faith in your son's romantic choices, you refuse to believe Chad would willingly use a friend for his own sake. So, either he has no plans to pursue the blonde via her twin brother anymore. Or, you darkly realize, Ryan knows about Chad's infatuation and has no problem with it.

The potato salad is not as clumpy as Chad prefers -you've mashed it too much for too long- but he takes generous spoons of it without complain. You think he might have dropped a concerned glance in your direction now and then, but every time you look at him he's smiling. He's inclemently teasing his sister's favorite songs and movies, yet Charlotte's grin tell you there's no need to interfere; she has a most fierce protector in Ryan, and the three of them seem to be enjoying themselves, so you silently witness their quarrel.

Their attention firmly glued on each other, they can't see your smile. Neither can you, actually, but you know it is bittersweet. Why couldn't Sharpay be a little more like her brother? They share the same background, after all: parents, richness, school history, personal experiences. You wouldn't have a problem if your son had a wealthy white girlfriend, were she to be as nice and kind as Ryan. Or a poor Hispanic one, or a middle class Asian; you really don't care about petty things like money, or skin color, or-

It takes a moment to register the silence, and other to notice three pairs of eyes have you pinned down. Thankfully, your phone rings, and even if you've been telling Joanne all week you have no intention to go bar-hunting with her, this time you accept. Chad declares there's not a problem; in fact, he _orders_ you to go to your room _now_ and get 'pimped out'. You comply, not because your recently divorced best friend lives only ten minutes from your place, but to run from the mess you've created in the table - and in your head.


	9. Chapter 9

You get to remember why Joanne and you have remained friends for so long, despite neither of you agreeing with some of the other's personal decisions: she understands you as nobody else does. She's also a good listener, so it is not a surprise that you end telling her everything over coffee and triple chocolate cake - no margaritas for any of you tonight. She usually gives good advice too, but this time she seems as lost as you. More, even: despite her three marriages, she has never been a mother.

 _He has to make his own decisions_ , is all she can offer before leaving you in front of your door, still a little shaken. Of course you know! Haven't you been stepping aside for weeks, stopping yourself from interfering? But one thing is not to act, and another completely different is not to _think_. And now that the idea has sprouted in your mind, you can't stop yourself from considering it.

The house is dark, which was to be expected. It is late, after all; you've never been out this late before. The kitchen's light blinks twice when you turn it on. Thankfully, the kids cleaned. You drop the parcel in the fridge without particular care, knowing Charlotte will not mind if her lemon meringue pie gets a little flat. And when you turn, the shelves are right in front of you, and you see it. Or, you _don't_ see it. The six-piece glasses set was your great-grandmother's gift, something you have always taken special care of. One of them broke the day Chad was born, yet the rest survived both of your kids' early childhood.

But now only four are left.

You know that, were you to search in the trash can, the pieces of green translucent glass would be easy to find. You don't do it, though; your left hand already has one cut too much, and there's that little shard you left in your bathroom, right after finding it encrusted in your palm.

You turn the kitchen's light off.

There's a bundle in the bed when you carefully open the door. Your eyes have adjusted enough to the darkness to notice is not your son the one under the covers. Unlike Chad, Ryan seems to favor sleeping on his back; unlike Chad too, Ryan seems to be a light sleeper, as he twitches and frowns when the door creaks. It takes him a while to relax back into deep slumber, and you wait with him before leaving to look for your children.

Chad and Charlotte are sleeping in your room, as you expected - her bed is too short for either Chad or Ryan, as is the living room's couch. Your daughter, you know, probably had a hard time trying to get to sleep; you must have really scared her. You must have scared Chad too, as he wakes up with a startle when you move his right arm to a more comfortable position. He tries to get up, fights with the blankets, drowsily explaining that Ryan said he would leave as soon as you arrived.

You say _nonsense_ and push him back, tucking him in like you used to when he was much younger. He smiles, still half sleep, before sighing contently and closing his eyes. He's lost to the world less than a minute later, a soft grin on his face, and it makes you remember what you told Joanne: many mothers think there's not a woman good enough for their sons. Many think they know what's best. But how many, other than you, are selfish enough to wish their sons were gay, just because they don't approve of their decisions?

You truly must be the worst mother in human story.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another double post :). This is the last chapter, thank you everybody for reading. I have a continuation, about 75 percent done at ~20K words, but I don't think I'll start posting very soon. In a month or two, once I finish it, hopefully. Meanwhile I'll try to bring other HSM fics I had only posted elsewhere. Thank you again!

You ask for a two-week vacation. Your boss only gives you one, so you try to back your request, defend your rights, loudly protest - but he doesn't change his mind, and you have to admit defeat. Your co-workers publicly bicker with you, complain about how much of a bastard he is; but they also exchange secret smiles with you, clearly knowing that, if you really had wanted two weeks off, you would have asked for four.

Chad is silently fuming, clearly not pleased at leaving the city. Still he complies, not grumbling even once about the vacation days he will not spend with his friends. It is until your first stop, when you throw him the keys, that his face brightens and a smile comes to his face and stays there for a while. Charlotte is sleeping in the back seat and as you expected, your son is more willing to talk when he is the one behind the wheel.

You are more willing to talk too, as now you can take your attention from the road without killing your little family. And so, what stars like idle chat eventually turns serious, and you are appalled to discover Chad is really worried about you. He tiptoes around a dozen subjects -how are things with your boss, your job, grandma-, never pausing too long in any of them. But there's a question he keeps repeating in multiple variations, one that hangs in every word he says.

_Are you okay?_

You don't know what to say. Except, you do. You explain him there's a lot going in your head, job is fine to certain extent, mom is okay, your boss is still an asshole; but you admit something has been bothering you. He remains silent, waiting for you to elaborate, and so you have no other choice but to say you think he's been keeping things from you. And, you hurry to explain, even if it happens to be true you are not complaining. He has every right to keep part of his life private. You understand.

It takes another hour and a half for you to reach the hotel, an hour and a half you two spend in silence. He only speaks then, offering to take care of his sister while you get a room. You nod and leave, then return a little after, and he follows you with Charlotte on his arms. It takes the two of you a couple trips, but then there's no more luggage to unload, and you look at each other awkwardly. You should wish him good night, take your toothbrush, get into the bathroom. But you can't. Apparently, neither does him.

 _Are you tired?_ he eventually asks, and you shake your head. No. He nods and points to the balcony, where two chairs wait. The night is cool and windy, the sound and light trails makes it impossible for you to forget how close to the highway you are staying; but you don't care. All you care right now, all that matters, is your son's obvious pain. His face is open, and he's so obviously scared that you wish you were able to take your words back.

But you can't now, and so all you can do is listen. Listen to everything he hasn't told you these last months. Listen him stutter while acknowledging there is someone, this person he shouldn't be in love with, but he is. Listen while he recalls little moments, emotions; smile when he smiles, feel you throat constrict when his voice shakes. Listen when he admits he's scared, he's never felt nothing like this, he doesn't know what to do.

It's almost dawn when he finally stops, and his silence makes you realize you probably should say something. How you support him, no matter what. How he should pursue this girl his heart wants, never give up. You probably should, but you can't, not now. It doesn't matter, though, as Chad breaks the silence with one last remark.

_Mom, I'm gay._


End file.
